As well as my column for http://www.teachsecondary.com I also act as contact for the anonymous minute-taker of the new feature: Last Meeting’s Minutes. Here’s what they handed me for this month’s edition in an exchange that was fraught with more tension then a dozen spy movies. There were code names and everything. Honest.

097 (1)

School Trip Organisation Committee

Present: AF, TH, CC (by some minor miracle, think she must’ve come in by mistake), RG, RC and EF

Apologies from: So many buggers that I’m not going to bother to list them

Meeting held in: Learning Zone One so it’s cold and no-one can hear each other

Finding and working the thermostat in Learning Zone One

Unanimously agreed that this was of the highest priority. TH (Learning Leader for Educational Technology) attempted to action ITEM 1 by pressing random buttons on the control panel on the wall but unfortunately only succeeded in repeatedly turning the projector on and off. Coats will be worn until further notice.

Trip location decision

After last year’s ‘incident’ at Manor Worth Urban Farm, Year 9 is no longer welcome until all the animals have been accounted for. RC requested that it be recorded at this point that although the working relationship with Manor Worth had become less than optimal, he will always treasure the memory of watching Sasha and Marcus interact with the wildlife and is still impressed that they both managed to jump the fence riding only one pig.

Even so, an alternative locale has to now be considered. The alternative must have obvious educational value for our students and complement the existing schemes of work from various dept.

‘Bowling’ was suggested by RG as it had “PE and physics an’ maths an’ that when you add up the score.” The bowling alley’s location, being nestled between two public houses, was merely a happy coincidence he assured us. The rest of the attendees agreed that it was a very strong possibility and it has been added to the top of the list. RG has volunteered to action a pre-visit fact-finding mission of the bowling alley and adjacent buildings.

CC then proceeded to state that she had no idea what this had to do with the Tackling Student Lateness scheme and after some discussion and an impassioned speech from CC on the worth of sticking to the agenda as she was an extremely busy Learning Leader of Learning, it was pointed out to her that the Tackling Student Lateness scheme meeting had taken place two and a half weeks ago. The other attendees suggested that CC action getting her s**t together.

Other suggestions for prospective visits included:

The Local Art Gallery (this was met with groans, the most audible of which came from TH, the Learning Leader for Art).

Police Station (due to the fact, as stated by AF that “most of mine are halfway there already”).



Anywhere that We’ve Already Filled in the Risk Assessments For

Anywhere Where They Take Them and We Can Go and Get a Coffee

It was pointed out by EF at this point that due to budgetary limitations, any choice of location would have to take into consideration that there is a limited budget. After some preliminary calculations the estimated budget for the school trip stands at £0000.17p and whatever Sasha and Marcus can get for that pig.

It was agreed that the School Trip would most probably be a visit to the local park as it is within walking distance, costs nothing, and has an extremely sturdy perimeter fence. Also, the layout will be familiar for the students as they have been there for School Trips the last two out of three years.

Other actions:

  • Find some bloody money somewhere so we don’t have to go to the bloody park again. (ALL)
  • Research how much pigs are going for nowadays (ALL)
  • Sort out your electronic calendar, for goodness’ sake (CC)

What happened to the biscuits?

Those present were in agreement that these things are much better when there are biscuits. It’s not the same without biscuits. It was agreed that biscuits are good.


No. Don’t be daft. No. Just shush.

Meeting ended: eventually, and just in time for last orders at the Clerk’s Retreat (or, King’s Head, as it’s more generally known)



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